Pregnancy momento project

Oh the things that inspire...

On August 30th, I was working on the final bits of organizing for the art studio, when I was carrying a canvas and the shadow of my pregnant belly shown just right on it. I immediately grabbed a pencil and outlined the shadow onto the canvas, thinking I might do something with it one day.

Well, one of the benefits of prodromal labor is you have to distract yourself from the fact that while you're in labor and have been for several weeks, you're probably not going to produce a baby any time soon. It's hard to deal with painful, regular, yet sporadic contractions without something to occupy your mind. This project helped me with that.

I thought about using oil paints to just paint the belly part, but I decided I wanted to use fabric instead. I also decided I wanted to create a 3-dimensional piece, not just a flat, 2-dimensional piece. I wanted to decoupage the fabric in layers to create the effect.

I started with fabric that I used in the crib quilt I made already...but quickly decided not to go that route, because I wanted this to be a piece that could hang on the wall for many years and eventually be given to Kathryn when she is an adult.

I also realized I'd be "wasting" a whole lot of excellent quilting fabrics just trying to build up the 3D effect...and that these lovely fabrics wouldn't even show up in the final piece. So, I decided to try quilting batting.

I added three plus layers of quilting batting to build it up and it worked really well. I started right at the edge of the design with the first cut, then the next cut was a bit smaller' the next smaller to achieve a rounded effect. In between, I layered scraps of any batting that was left over from cuts (I hate to waste).

For the last preparation step, I added a layer of muslin over the batting just to make it good and secure.

I then went on a hunt for some pretty graduated tones. Because my baby's room is in blues and turquoise, I knew I wanted either pretty tones in either color. I didn't want it to be too baby/nursery like. I wanted it to be more like an art piece, but I still had no idea how I would pull this off. 

In my head I had an idea about darker edges that gradually moved to lighter tones on top, but that's it. Well, the final piece (except that I have to finish adding the tiny white pieces of fabric to the right side is here....

I'm not sure I like the layout of the lighter blue fabric, but I'm not sure how to alter that without making the pieces look strange. The pieces are placed in a certain way and I don't want to mess that up or make that part look funny, therefore ruining the entire effect. 

If I do another one, I'll make my darker edges wider and my lighter edges thinner. I'd also like to have more of a swirl of the colors rather than swaths. 

Hmmmmm...I actually could start it all over and do that. I have plenty of fabric to do it and I can easily add one more layer of batting to cover this part. 

Imagine, this one piece will have transformed a few times! That's what I love about projects like this. It's like painting with fabric. I find it so incredibly fun. Plus, if you don't like it, just like paint, you can start over! The coolest part is, for this particular project, it'll only add to the 3D effect I'm going for, so it's win-win. 

In the end, I want it to look more like paint than fabric from a distance. If I can pull that off, that would be awesome. 

Looking at this more closely, I think maybe the lightest swirl should ONLY be in the belly portion to represent the baby. 

Yeah, I have a feeling I'll be layering some batting over this again. I just hope the baby holds out until I'm finished! lol 

************************************************************************

I have to say, I'm jealous of women out there who simply go in labor. Yesterday I happened to watch the episode of the Rachel Zoe Project where she went in labor with her son. She was up early (like 4 something, just like I was with T) and she said her water broke and she was having painful contractions, but she was fixing her hair, as most women do when they are trying to grasp some level of normalcy in the moments before they head off to the hospital. 

Anyway, she went to the hospital (a bit too early, perhaps) and 16 hours later she had her son. In the movie Knocked Up, which we happened to watch, over White Castle (which was a terrible mistake, I'm realizing right now), when K got home from work, Allison Scott goes in labor and goes to the hospital and has her daughter. 

What do they have in common and I don't? They had short early labors. I'm beginning to think that because it's been 16 years since my body did this that it has forgotten that this whole beautiful pregnancy journey is supposed to end in a baby! 

I will say, that's the only thing I really enjoyed about the baby forum...getting to talk to other women who are going or have gone through this as well. It's painful, physically tiring, disappointing, frustrating, and mentally exhausting. Almost every day I wonder..."is this time going to be THE time?" 

Yesterday I had the painful menstrual-like cramps I recall having with T just before leaving for the hospital. They were ten minutes apart for over an hour, then they moved on to about 8 minutes apart. I was starting to get excited, but trying to remain logical..."this probably isn't it. Don't get your hopes up," and then they just petered out after a total of about 2 hours, when they just came every so often until I decided to go to bed at 11pm. 

I honestly love this part of my pregnancy, despite my complaints. I can actually FEEL Kathryn's feet! It's not just a lump of something or other...I can totally tell it's her little foot when she pushes on my right side. It's so cute! She pushes on my right side, her butt goes up on my left side and her little (although it feels enormous!) head pushes down on my cervix. It's so cool. 

I also love my bump...or my baby mountain, as I call it. It's so taut these days and oh my goodness, it's all baby, fluid and placenta. I'm absolutely sure of that. It doesn't jiggle a single bit. It's always very tight, even between contractions...not hard, just tight. My belly button is totally flat now, as if I don't have a belly button, just a soft spot where one used to be. 

When to Schedule Induction? 

I really love it and I know I'll miss it. The ONLY thing that has me down is the prodromal labor. If that would ease up, I'd be totally fine with carrying this beautiful baby through 42 weeks. It is the only thing making me question whether or not I want to schedule an induction for 9/17, at 41 weeks, or just wait until the 24th, at 42 weeks. I want to give my body a chance to go into labor on its own, but I'm beginning to lose faith that it will. :-( 

Then I wonder...does it really matter? I'm to term, which is a great thing considering all the literature that states that older women tend to have pre-mature birth. I have a very healthy baby inside me, despite the fact that the literature says older women tend to have higher risks of health problems for their babies. I made it to term despite the fact that the county I live in has an abnormally high risk of premature births (for reasons they do not understand and are investigating). 

So I made it this far despite the odds being sort of against me. My baby is past the 39 week mark, which means her brain and lungs are absolutely developed and to the maximum size they will be at birth. She is a good weight, because, even if the ultrasound was a little off at 37.5 weeks, she's had 1.5 weeks to add more weight and babies add about 1/2 pound a week to their frame at this point in the pregnancy. That would put her at nearly 8 pounds right now....and possibly over by the time she is born. 

That all being said, there is really no reason to wait until 42 weeks, except that it'll give me every possible opportunity to go in labor on my own. I wonder though, would it ease my and K's mind if we just scheduled it? I know he is as anxious as I am and I'm sure he's fed up with the prodromal labor as I am, even though I try very hard not to complain to him about it. Plus, if she is born on that day, she will for sure have her own birthday. I really want her to have her own birthday. Everyone keeps saying, "I hope she's born on my birthday," but I don't want that. 

If it happened, it happened, but I really hope she has her own day. 

So I have no idea what to do. My appointment is on Tuesday and I'll need to have made a decision by then, because Julie said if I make it that far we'll schedule it either for the following Monday (17th) or the next Monday (24th), but we both agree that going longer than that is not an option because of placental health. 

I'm nervous. I want to make the best decision I can for my little one. I'm nervous about getting pitocin, but then if I'm dilated and effaced at a decent rate, they might just be able to break my water and I'll take off that way, without the pitocin. That's certainly possible. Plus, having a date to look forward to as "the end" might help ease the discomfort I've been feeling with the PL. Maybe I'll be able to relax more and simply enjoy the last few days of my pregnancy. 

My EDD is tomorrow. Maybe she'll come then. lol....that would be funny, because that hardly ever happens. 

Anyway, all this said, I think I MIGHT have just made a decision to schedule the induction for the 17th. 

I think...

I don't know...

Maybe...

Ugh, why can't I just be one of those people who just does what her doctor says to do? Then I could just be like, "Julie, you decide and I'll go along with whatever you say." 

*sigh* 

That would be so much easier, but it's not in my DNA. ;-)

PS....

Reading this makes me want to wait for spontaneous labor:

40 weeks pregnant 

I read that one and the 41 weeks pregnant one. I never thought of induction as "buying interventions" before, but that is very true. I'd be connected to an IV, more likely to have pitocin, and have an increased risk of CSection. None of which sounds good to me/for me, or for baby. Maybe I'll make it to the 42 week mark. Maybe she just isn't ready yet and I need to see this as a lesson in patience. I need to think about my baby only and not focus on the discomfort, others' excitement, or the calendar. TERM babies can be 2 weeks on either side of the estimated due date, so in theory, I could only be 38 weeks pregnant, not 40.

That does make me feel better.