My beautiful girl!

Kathryn was born on the 17th at 2:20 pm and after waiting what seemed like forever with the prodromal labor, she arrived in a fiery hurry.

As I posted previously, I was going in for the induction at 7:00am. We arrived on time, and I was ready to accept the pitocin induction, as I was told, but the midwife asked, "So what are we doing with this pregnancy? What do you want to happen?"

I said I'd like for it to be as natural as possible, but that I knew with the pitocin it really couldn't be natural, because it would be medically induced.

She said, "We can do other things before the pitocin if you'd like to try them."

She told me about Cytotec, which is a pill that was prescribed for gurd, but they learned that it caused contractions and actually caused miscarriages in early pregntancies. So it was no longer recommended for pregnant women unless they were ready for labor. 

I didn't take the pill. Instead, she inserted 1/4 of the pill into my vagina, at my cervix, so that it would help it soften more. She said I might need another dose in 4 hours.

While we waited, K and I played Rummy 500 and watched shows about bike building. The contractions began about an hour after being given the Cytotec. They were mild cramps that increased steadily over the 4 hour period. I became uncomfortable, but not in pain.

I got to take a shower, use the birthing ball and walk as I wanted to. Oh gosh, the shower was heavenly!

Kim, the midwife came back to check on me at about 1:00pm and I was 100% effaced and 4 cm dilated. I threw my fist up in a cheer. Progress!!!! Finally! I was in labor for real!

She left to take her son to a doctor and said she'd be back. In the meantime, she took me off the constant fetal monitoring and told the nurse to just do intermittent monitoring. 

After she left, K went downstairs for a smoke and to get a drink. I felt fine.

Then, everything changed in the blink of an eye. The contractions became very intense and I found I had to really focus on breathing through them. I was beginning to think K got lost, even though I know he really wasn't gone that long.

Finally, he came back up. I was on the birthing ball, truly unable to move well.

"I need a shower again. I'm really hurting."

Well, what happened after that is, for me, a bit of a blur. All I know is the contractions were so intense and coming one in top of the other and I kept saying, "I'm so sorry I'm such a wimp!" I said this over and over.

I also remember thinking/saying, "I don't understand why I can't breathe through these if I'm only 4cm."

I honestly didn't know how I was going to make it through without pain medication, but I knew I'd not have an epidural. That was all I knew.

I kept telling myself something I saw on the baby forum from another mom..."I can do anything for a minute." I told K to yell me this, as I held onto him for support.

"I think I need to use the bathroom." I told K, holding onto him as if he held the strength I desperately needed.

I couldn't use the bathroom. I tried to urinate, but nothing came. Instead, I felt such an overwhelming pressure that I stood up...almost in an effort to get away from it. When I stood, my water broke in a big splash on the floor.

K was confused for a second, then I said, "my water just broke."

"Should I go tell the nurse?" K asked.

I grabbed his arm. "No, please don't leave me."

"But shouldn't we tell her?"

"Yes. I need to go lie down. I don't know..." I hesitated as it was almost impossible to walk. "I don't know what I need." I whimpered. He helped me the few feet back to the bed when another contraction hit me.

At this point, the nurse walks in. K tells her my water broke.

It was now 2:05.

"Great!" She replied. "That means we're making progress." I could hear the smile in her voice.

I'm leaning against the bed at this point, unable to move. My legs are spread slightly and bent. K is holding me back.

"Oh god, I have to go to the bathroom!" I said, my voice raised.

Thankfully, my nurse had the forethought to reach between my legs to check to see if the baby's head was there and sure enough it was.

"Honey, her head is right there!" She kept her cool and helped me into bed, then called the midwife and some other people to come up, saying something about an anterior cervix. 

I'm on the bed, feeling completely out of control with the urge to push wearing down on me. The next thing I know is I'm pushing involuntarily. I couldn't stop myself.

"I'm so sorry, I'm pushing! I can't stop it!" By the time the midwife arrived, the baby's head was crowning.

I apologized through my entire delivery, saying over and over, "I'm sorry I was such a wimp." They kept saying, you're not a wimp. Her head is right there.

Next thing I know, I'm surrounded by nurses and my midwife and K is holding my hand and I'm telling them I'm pushing and again apologizing. My midwife simply told me to listen to my body and do what it tells me too...and the only message I got was PUSH!

She put counter pressure down there to help ease out the head. She told me to ease her out with my pushing. I remember our eyes locking when she said this and it made me slow down for a moment, then the urge hit again and I was pushing! Stacy, my midwife, said "reach down and feel her head."

I hesitated. She then said, "if you want, feel your baby's head there." I did and while I thought it would scare me, it empowered me. I pushed again and felt the infamous burning sensation. "Is that the ring of fire?"

The nurse and Stacy laughed, "It sure is!" I pushed twice more and she was out! Stacy placed her purple, squirmy little body on my chest and all I could say was, "Oh, you're so beautiful!" Over and over. I cried and looked at Kevin and he was crying too.

"Thank you." I said to Kevin and we kissed.

They let the cord stop pulsing and asked K if he wanted to cut the cord and he did it with no problem at all! I was so proud of him, because he said he didn't know if he could.

I tore during her delivery, but it was only a 1st degree tear. The stitches hurt pretty bad, but thankfully Stacy did them quickly and didn't stop when I expressed a lot of pain and I was glad. I just wanted it over.

After I was stitched up and got to breastfeed my little darling.

She was born at 2:20pm. She weighed 8lbs 6 oz and was 21 inches long.

I am so very thankful that I was in great hands. My nurses were amazing and said they wished other moms would educate themselves to be able to speak up about what they want. That made me feel good.

K's family came to visit and I had to go to the restroom so I asked them to step out so I didn't flash everyone. In the bathroom, my nurse, Monica,  helped me get cleaned up, then looking at my left leg, said she thought she saw some blood on me. I twisted to see if I could see it and then checked my other leg. She started laughing, "you look like you're doing calisthetics!"

To this, I responded with a little dance and Monica joined in. We cracked up laughing.

So the birth that I thought would be marred with unwanted interventions, ended up being the most natural if the three. I didn't even get an IV of fluids. My water broke on its own, and I had no episiotomy. Instead, I had a slight tear that did not affect my muscles (unlike episiotomies do) thanks to the work of my wonderful midwife.

I was up and eating within an hour. My daughter roomed with her daddy and I and we were discharged the very next day at 3:30pm.