Having Wine to Relax?

This is me...looking crazy, but actually feeling fairly well-rested at 6:46 am. I tossed and turned like a madwoman last night, but I went to bed earlier, so it gave me more time to actually sleep. Yay. Go me. ;-) I really don't know why my nose looks so big in this picture, but oh well. Hmmm...it makes me wonder. Do we see ourselves differently than we really are? Do I really have such a commanding nose?

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It's September 1st, which means my baby will be a sapphire and that's totally fine with me. I kept joking with K that I wanted her to wait until Sept 1 at least so I'd have a beautiful mother's ring one day. C is a diamond, T is an emerald, and this one will be a sapphire. All of my favorite colors! :-)

www.nationwidelargediamondbuyers.com

www.celticjewelry.com

www.goforjewel.com

I think it would be so cool to have an eternity band with these stones alternating all the way around it. 

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Will this be my last child? I know many would think I'm insane for asking such a question considering I'm 36 years old and by the time this baby is driving, I'll be 52, but I can't help but wonder. In a way, I think it would be fun to just have a little girl. It would be almost like having an only child, considering my boys are practically grown. Are only children lonely though? Some of the ones I know seems somewhat unstable. Not all...but some. It's like, you can totally tell when someone was raised without siblings. How do I explain this? 

1. They expect you to listen to them...sure, we should always listen to others and I've been told I'm a great listener, but let's face it, if you have siblings, more times than not, they ignored you, or made fun of something you had to say, especially when you were younger. 

2. They seem somewhat snarky when they aren't the center of attention...though this is not true of all (of course, what generalization is?), it seems to me, having friends who were only children and teaching in a classroom with only children that they either become somewhat condescending, snarky, or withdraw if they aren't being given the attention they want. Kids with siblings tend to just go with it, knowing that one day they'll be able to get the other one back. 

Yeah, maybe that's the only difference. A child with siblings knows he/she can get revenge one day. Who on earth can the only child seek revenge on and without practice on a sibling, can they do it well? 

Then again, I think of a couple of ladies I know who were only children and I had no idea until they told me... so maybe this is a case of a stereotype getting the upper hand. 

Hopefully everyone knows I'm saying this in jest really. The only reason I wonder if this is my last child is because this is K's first. Also, I'm not sure I want to have an "only" child. I really don't want her to be spoiled (again, stereotype) and with her being the only baby in K's family, I can see that happening easily. Thankfully in my family there will be three other babies by Christmas, so the love will be spread around. 

I guess what I'm wondering is, will K want another child? He says things like, "...until we try for that boy," but then he laughs and says he's kidding. Is he? I have no idea. Would I want to go through all of this again? I have absolutely no idea. 

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Last night I did something somewhat controversial. Some people will think I'm terrible, others will shrug it off like it's nothing at all. I've been stressed about when I'm going to go into labor. Most women are at this point. It seems it'll never happen, but like a really good horror flick, there are subtle hints occurring that let me know something is going to pop out and make me scream...or in this case, make me cry in joy while she screams her little purple face off. ;-) 

I've had all the signs...lost plug, had show, dilating and effacing, having more frequent contractions, feeling tired, then energetic...blahh, blahh, blahh. The only thing I've not had happen is my water breaking, but it never happened spontaneously with my sons either. 

So anyway, my body was stressed out and a stressed body cannot give in to the sensations occurring during early labor, which can actually slow it down. 

What I did last night was something I'd only do if I saw many cases where doctors and midwives recommended it to help an expectant mother relax. I've seen it everywhere, so I decided to do it. I had a tiny glass of red wine when I went to bed to read. It was probably only an ounce of wine, if I had actually measured it and well, having not had a single thing to drink in 9 months, I didn't need more. I sipped it for about an hour as I read an old favorite, the novel The Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice. 

I had had a good dinner of chili and grilled cheese, with a big glass of water and when I had my wine, I also took drinks of water between sips. I don't know why I was so paranoid about it, but I was. That said, I DID get to relax. I felt much less tense throughout my entire body and it was a welcome feeling. I found I was able to focus on my book rather than my body and I needed a moment like that. Pregnancy really does make a woman focus on her body quite a bit and for good reason, but a break is a necessity too. 

I'm glad I made the decision to have the wine. 

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WATER BREAKING?

This morning I woke up with some sort of drainage...At first I thought I was leaking fluid, but it was only a tiny bit and once I got to the bathroom, I discovered it was too thick to be amniotic fluid. I've never had my water break on it's own, so I have no idea what it'll be like. 

Will is rush out? 

Will it feel like I peed my pants? 

'Cause I'm good at that these days...hell, on Thursday, I leaked urine 2 times! So gross, but when you have a 7+ pound baby weighing down on your bladder and you gotta cough or sneeze, even the champion Kegel Master can't hold all of it in. 

Will it just trickle? 

Will it happen spontaneously?

I have no idea and not knowing makes me worry. I like to know things. I like to plan with flexibility, but plan nonetheless. Not knowing is one of the hardest things about pregnancy, in my opinion. 

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My boys are here today and I am so very happy for that. For one thing, I missed them. They were busy with school, work, softball, and church, so I hadn't seen them for a few weeks. We still talked and texted, but I missed seeing their handsome faces and I really wanted some hugs. So they are here and mama is happy again. :) They are wonderful boys and I'm so proud of them. Honestly, I don't know how I got to lucky to have two very kind, respectful, and conscientious teenage boys, but I'm very thankful that I did.