Link to article at the bottom of page:
This is one reason I'm glad I have the "luxury" to stay home with my little one, at least for a while. When I say luxury, I mean...glad we have corners to cut to allow me to do this. It's not like we have unlimited funds. We are making sacrifices and my husband is working his butt off.
When my sons were little, daycare was about 300 a week for them until they were potty-trained. Thankfully I stayed home until they were 6 months and 22 months. Caleb was potty-trained at 15 months, so it was a lot easier. However, he was still in pull-ups and the change to daycare did cause a slight relapse in his potty-training, so I had to pay more for a month or so with him.
I can't imagine how much daycare is now. If I had my choice and could do anything I wanted, I'd NEVER put this child in daycare. There is just something about strangers raising my children that really bugs me. Working parents don't see it that way. They see it as a necessity and IT IS a necessity, but really, strangers ARE raising your children, whether you can accept that or not.
When I worked, I'd get up, get ready for work, feed the boys, dress them and then we were out the door. I dropped them at daycare with a sweet, but quick kiss and hug goodbye, then head to work. I'd get off work around 5, pick them up by 6 and we'd have dinner together, we'd play for about an hour, then it was bath, story and bed time.
That's hardly raising children. It's like I was the babysitter and their home was at daycare. It's terrible.
This is one reason I'm glad I have the "luxury" to stay home with my little one, at least for a while. When I say luxury, I mean...glad we have corners to cut to allow me to do this. It's not like we have unlimited funds. We are making sacrifices and my husband is working his butt off.
When my sons were little, daycare was about 300 a week for them until they were potty-trained. Thankfully I stayed home until they were 6 months and 22 months. Caleb was potty-trained at 15 months, so it was a lot easier. However, he was still in pull-ups and the change to daycare did cause a slight relapse in his potty-training, so I had to pay more for a month or so with him.
I can't imagine how much daycare is now. If I had my choice and could do anything I wanted, I'd NEVER put this child in daycare. There is just something about strangers raising my children that really bugs me. Working parents don't see it that way. They see it as a necessity and IT IS a necessity, but really, strangers ARE raising your children, whether you can accept that or not.
When I worked, I'd get up, get ready for work, feed the boys, dress them and then we were out the door. I dropped them at daycare with a sweet, but quick kiss and hug goodbye, then head to work. I'd get off work around 5, pick them up by 6 and we'd have dinner together, we'd play for about an hour, then it was bath, story and bed time.
That's hardly raising children. It's like I was the babysitter and their home was at daycare. It's terrible.
On Facebook, I see stupid pictures like this one:
Sure, I can understand WHY working parents put this out there, but the people I know who have put them out there have NEVER been stay-at-home parents.
They don't know what it's like to not have a job to go to...having a job outside the home provides them with adult/adult time that doesn't include discussions of diapers, spit up, sore nipples, crying, and lack of sleep (to name a few).
When I worked, sometimes the very act of going to work was an escape from my children! Oh, I love, love, love my kids, but let's face it...they aren't brought into this world to make us smile. Anyone who has ever had a baby knows they don't come out smiling, cooing, and loving you. Waiting for that first smile is like waiting in the desert for water to fall from the sky.
I think a lot of working parents (and I don't mean ALL, by any means) think of stay-at-home parents as the bon-bon eating woman who does little else besides watch episodes of As the World Turns.
Peg Bundy: Married with Children
On the contrary, stay-at-home moms, if they are doing their job right, (let's face it, there are slackers in ALL working positions) are busy from waking hours to falling into bed exhausted from their busy day. They also tend to be more isolated than their working peers. There is nothing worse than being in a group, say at a party and someone asking you what you do and you reply "I'm a stay at home mom." Their reply is usually, "lucky you," or "Oh," then they turn to find someone who has something interesting to talk about.
Here's an article about stay-at-home moms and the increase in depression among them. Sure, not all moms are depressed. Some have a great social support system, but even those are generally centered around their children.
Stay-at-home moms lose a sense of themselves to their children and their significant others (if one is present). This is part of the job, I suppose.
I'm not saying staying at home is better or worse for women. I think both roles are important. I'm just sick of seeing SAHMs getting the negative talk, when they are working their asses off at home, just as their peers are working their asses off outside the home. I KNOW both have their up sides and down sides. When I was a working mom, I was also single...so unlike many other friends of mine, I didn't even have a significant other to help me out when I was home with the children. It was all me, all the time.
I respect women who work outside the home.
What I want is some respect for the women who stay home with their children. I want their work respected as well.
I'll be a stay-at-home mom, but when I say this, don't give me the condescending "Oh," response. Don't JUST ask about my kids. Ask me about ME! I am still a woman...I do still have heels and cute clothes in my closet that don't have candy gunk and spit up on them. I'll still have interests that I try to work into my schedule. I'm a painter and a published writer...I love being outdoors. I enjoy rafting and kayaking. Hiking and camping are two of my favorite things to do. I enjoy traveling and plan to travel with the baby as well.
Yes, I'm a parent. Yes, I'm a wife. No, I don't get to go hang with friends much, because well, I don't have that many friends except the ones I know through my husband. However, I AM ME. I am a woman first and I have an identity that is not associated with my work.
from: momaroo.com
No matter what you do, whether it's staying home or working outside the home, please realize that the woman you're addressing is doing her best to make sure she creates a good life for her children, her family and herself. Don't criticize her. Don't think what she does is somehow more or less important than what you're doing. Instead, ask her about HERSELF, not just her job.
Respect her.
Here's the article I mentioned from the start about daycare costs:
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