Insomnia, Carpal Tunnel, BH, and other delights

This was supposed to publish yesterday, but there was a glitch...so I'm posting it now. I'm up before the birds this morning due to my hands hurting like hell, contractions and baby hiccups (still so cute, but not helpful in the sleep department), and pains in my thighs. I feel like I ran a few miles in the middle of the night.

So anyway, I got up to use the bathroom and then went to the kitchen to feed my cats....who seemed super excited that I was up so much earlier to give them their breakfast. It was, afterall all about them. ;-) I got a paper towel to clean up a water spill (caused by Izzy, no doubt, who likes to stir her water before drinking it) and I ended up on my hands and knees cleaning the entire kitchen floor with a paper towel! Haha! Oh the insanity of it, but hey, it's clean!

I'm glad Kevin wasn't up to see that one. Last night he was like, "Will you please try to relax some tomorrow? I'm paying the boys to help so you can relax. I know it's hard for you..." It really is. I mean, I don't have a job, so I consider my work around here to be my job. I like to keep busy or I fear I'll go insane and at this point, it is a distraction from impending delivery.

I have to admit that while I'm super excited, I'm equally anxious. I've not given birth to a baby in 16 years and his was a natural birth. They say you forget, but I remember everything. As beautiful as the experience was (and it really was wonderful), I'd be a liar if I said it was all roses and sweets. It was painful. I had terrible back labor as well as contractions.

I just think about how much pain I feel now...how tired I get being this late in the pregnancy and I wonder...can my body do this and still do it well?

I really hope so.

Last night during a few BH contractions, I practiced relaxing my entire body, section by section. I was happy to still be able to do that, even with my body aching and contractions going on. I guess you don't forget some things, even if it has been a while. I'm going to use this meditative technique during labor. It's something I've used often, it is something I don't have to think think about too much, other than concentrating on conscious relaxation, and it doesn't require anyone else. Just me.

I think I'm as ready for this wee one and her birth day as I can be. :-) All a mama-to-be can do is prepare herself. Right? After that, nature takes its course and we just go through it, trying to be as relaxed as possible.

I really think I'm feeling more anxiety because I'm still not done with the house. It's getting there...rather quickly now. I just think I'll feel better once all the rooms are done and organized and I can give the house a good solid cleaning. Then ill be able to truly relax. Is like 2 weeks to relax a bit before she comes.

I know I sound obsessive about the house and I am, in a way, but I really don't want it over my head when she's here. I want to focus my attention on her. I want to be able to hold her and just be there with her, rather than thinking about the work I need to do. There will still be plenty to do, but later on....like Spring. I just want to be with my baby. I want to enjoy every minute with her...even the dfinitely ones. ;-) She's very likely my last and I want to enjoy it, because time flies and the next thing I know I'll be the nervous mom in the passenger seat saying, "Brake....brake, please!" Haha!

You know, I've truly enjoyed the dynamics of having two older children and expecting a baby. It's interesting. It's not for everyone, to be sure...but it seems to fit me and my personality.
I love life's little surprises. I love that I'm healthy and able to embrace them, even if I do feel a few more aches and pains due to my history, I love that I am still young enough to see the awesomeness of my situation.

I remember meeting a woman at an abortion clinic (yes, I had an abortion back when I was a single mother and my nous were about 3 & 4). Anyway, that woman was about my age....well, a little older and she was in to have an abortion because her children were grown and she thought she was going through early menopause. I remember thinking how is probably do the same thing if in her shoes. Now here I am and an abortion didn't even cross my mind. You never know what life will bring.

It's a very good thing.
:-)