I'm so nervous about today that I feel numb. You know? It's like, I can't get emotional, because I have no idea what to expect, so I'm just here...and I'm nervous. Maybe nervous is the wrong word.
Maybe I'm scared.
I made a mistake at the doctor's office on Wednesday. I always advise women to ask questions when in the office. EDUCATE and DISCUSS! It's part of my motto! Without asking questions, how will we ever know anything?
Well, because I was so shocked by the results...being that my daughter is Frank breech, I couldn't think of a single question. I wish I had sat down in the waiting.g room, even just for a few minutes to let the information settle, so then maybe I could come up with my questions. Now, I have a few!
1. What are the risks?
2. What if it doesn't work? What's the next step?
3. How will a c-section be scheduled? Hospital? Next doctor visit?
4. Should I prepare for the procedure in anyway? Like, can I eat breakfast or should I fast just in case there is an emergency?
5. How painful is it?
6. How will this affect the baby?
7. When was the last emergency c-section in this hospital due to ECV?
8. How many ECVs are done per year in this hospital? For this particular midwife?
9. Will there be a recovery period or does the discomfort fade quickly?
10. What medicine, if any, is administered? Does it cross the placenta?
Update:
Here are a few pictures K took while I was anxiously awaiting the doctor I thought was going to perform the version I had scheduled. Unfortunately the visit went totally different than I had expected and I left NOT smiling.
K said you couldn't tell I was pregnant in this one really, so he took another.
I went to the hospital for the version, that I SCHEDULED myself. I was told I was going in for a version at 10:00, but they gave me a routine visit and said they didn't do versions there. I was told it would have to be scheduled....which is what I thought I had done already.
My file was fucked up too. I had a record in there that wasn't mine. It said I had a previous premature birth at 32 weeks. This is absolutely not true and it was entered at the hospital, not with my doctor.
So I'm feeling less than secure in the "award winning hospital" that is Good Samaritan in Cincinnati. I hate to bash, but I'm really, REALLY upset.
The doctor there called me back later on, about 5:00 or so and she scheduled my version for 10am on the 28th. She said they would give me an epidural (which I don't want, because I've seen videos where the doctors gave an injection in the abdomen to relax the uterine muscles instead). She said the epidural is also as a precaution for if something happens (ie...baby's heart rate decreases) and I have to have a c-section. She said this will prevent me from having to have general anesthesia in an emergency.
I'm so upset. It's really disheartening when you have a plan (even with flexibility) and then it is shattered in a million pieces. I know this is the best for the baby, but it makes me feel sad and disappointed.
Besides feeling a bit sad, I'm also scared. Hospitals make me nervous anyway and to think of having surgery really scares me. I know it's not that big of a deal...c-sections are done every day and for reasons that make them far less necessary than my reason, but I'm still nervous.
I'm also honestly worried for cosmetic and shallow reasons...I've looked at pictures online of the scar and that bothers me. I've been so lucky to have stretch marks very low on my belly where they are hardly visible to others. I know the scar will be low as well, as long as it's not an emergency situation. If it's an emergency situation, I may end up with the standard incision. :-( That sounds so shallow.
At this point, I feel like Allison Scott, the character in Knocked Up, when she has the horrid doctor who tries to take control of her birth experience when Allison wants to have a natural birth...then she finally succumbs and, with a disappointed expression says, "whatever, do what you have to do." That's exactly how I feel.
The hospital I'm going to has a 29% c-section rate. While this would normally turn me off completely, I have to remember that the percentage may be skewed, because this hospital receives many transfers due to high risk situations that other, regional hospitals can't handle on their own. I'm just hoping that they truly TRY with the ECV. I hope they don't just half ass it and then I end up having a C-section anyway. The doctor did sound optimistic about the ECV. She said the baby now feels oblique and she seems like she'd be easy to turn. That does make me feel happy, at least.
So anyway, I want to end this post on a positive note:
I may be holding my little girl in 4 days. No matter what, I'll be holding her within 2 weeks, because the doctor said if it is not successful, they will plan to schedule a c-section the following week. If it is, then an induction.
Why an induction? I don't know...she said the baby might flip again, since she did it so recently. Basically, my plan for a natural birth is completely out of the question. :-( I could cry, but I'm going to focus on the positive. My little girl will be here sooner than later! I'll get to see her beautiful little face, her cute button nose...and I'll get to rock her in my arms.
That's something to be happy about.
Maybe I'm scared.
I made a mistake at the doctor's office on Wednesday. I always advise women to ask questions when in the office. EDUCATE and DISCUSS! It's part of my motto! Without asking questions, how will we ever know anything?
Well, because I was so shocked by the results...being that my daughter is Frank breech, I couldn't think of a single question. I wish I had sat down in the waiting.g room, even just for a few minutes to let the information settle, so then maybe I could come up with my questions. Now, I have a few!
1. What are the risks?
2. What if it doesn't work? What's the next step?
3. How will a c-section be scheduled? Hospital? Next doctor visit?
4. Should I prepare for the procedure in anyway? Like, can I eat breakfast or should I fast just in case there is an emergency?
5. How painful is it?
6. How will this affect the baby?
7. When was the last emergency c-section in this hospital due to ECV?
8. How many ECVs are done per year in this hospital? For this particular midwife?
9. Will there be a recovery period or does the discomfort fade quickly?
10. What medicine, if any, is administered? Does it cross the placenta?
Update:
Here are a few pictures K took while I was anxiously awaiting the doctor I thought was going to perform the version I had scheduled. Unfortunately the visit went totally different than I had expected and I left NOT smiling.
K said you couldn't tell I was pregnant in this one really, so he took another.
I went to the hospital for the version, that I SCHEDULED myself. I was told I was going in for a version at 10:00, but they gave me a routine visit and said they didn't do versions there. I was told it would have to be scheduled....which is what I thought I had done already.
My file was fucked up too. I had a record in there that wasn't mine. It said I had a previous premature birth at 32 weeks. This is absolutely not true and it was entered at the hospital, not with my doctor.
So I'm feeling less than secure in the "award winning hospital" that is Good Samaritan in Cincinnati. I hate to bash, but I'm really, REALLY upset.
The doctor there called me back later on, about 5:00 or so and she scheduled my version for 10am on the 28th. She said they would give me an epidural (which I don't want, because I've seen videos where the doctors gave an injection in the abdomen to relax the uterine muscles instead). She said the epidural is also as a precaution for if something happens (ie...baby's heart rate decreases) and I have to have a c-section. She said this will prevent me from having to have general anesthesia in an emergency.
I'm so upset. It's really disheartening when you have a plan (even with flexibility) and then it is shattered in a million pieces. I know this is the best for the baby, but it makes me feel sad and disappointed.
Besides feeling a bit sad, I'm also scared. Hospitals make me nervous anyway and to think of having surgery really scares me. I know it's not that big of a deal...c-sections are done every day and for reasons that make them far less necessary than my reason, but I'm still nervous.
I'm also honestly worried for cosmetic and shallow reasons...I've looked at pictures online of the scar and that bothers me. I've been so lucky to have stretch marks very low on my belly where they are hardly visible to others. I know the scar will be low as well, as long as it's not an emergency situation. If it's an emergency situation, I may end up with the standard incision. :-( That sounds so shallow.
At this point, I feel like Allison Scott, the character in Knocked Up, when she has the horrid doctor who tries to take control of her birth experience when Allison wants to have a natural birth...then she finally succumbs and, with a disappointed expression says, "whatever, do what you have to do." That's exactly how I feel.
The hospital I'm going to has a 29% c-section rate. While this would normally turn me off completely, I have to remember that the percentage may be skewed, because this hospital receives many transfers due to high risk situations that other, regional hospitals can't handle on their own. I'm just hoping that they truly TRY with the ECV. I hope they don't just half ass it and then I end up having a C-section anyway. The doctor did sound optimistic about the ECV. She said the baby now feels oblique and she seems like she'd be easy to turn. That does make me feel happy, at least.
So anyway, I want to end this post on a positive note:
I may be holding my little girl in 4 days. No matter what, I'll be holding her within 2 weeks, because the doctor said if it is not successful, they will plan to schedule a c-section the following week. If it is, then an induction.
Why an induction? I don't know...she said the baby might flip again, since she did it so recently. Basically, my plan for a natural birth is completely out of the question. :-( I could cry, but I'm going to focus on the positive. My little girl will be here sooner than later! I'll get to see her beautiful little face, her cute button nose...and I'll get to rock her in my arms.
That's something to be happy about.
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