Today I don't feel like myself. I'm achy...seems like every muscle in my body is aching, from my hands to my hips, and back. :-( I'm also freezing, so I just turned off the a/c. It's supposed to get to like 95, so I'm sure I won't leave it off long. I have a sweater on.
Anyway, despite feeling like total crappola today, I'm still going to eat right and not just go to bed...although a nap may be in order.
So this morning, I started with a banana and water.
Now having Rice Chex with raspberries, blueberries, and local honey. Orange juice and coffee.
So I'm going to try to resist the urge to clean more. Instead, I'm going to try to allow myself to rest. I think I really need to relax.
Oh...side note. My doctor never called me back about the tests.
Lunch: leftovers from last night's dinner: meatloaf, mashed potatoes, glazed baby carrots, peas, water.
Dinner: veggie burrito from Chipotle: black beans, white rice, corn salsa, tomato salsa, guacamole, lettuce. Bottle of apple juice.
Snack: trail mix bar; water; multigrain sandwich thins with cream cheese; 6 strawberries; V8 Splash.
Later 9:45pm:
So I spent my day being rather lazy, as planned. I did a load of laundry, washed dishes, cleaned the bathroom and did some prenatal yoga...was soooo happy to find that on OD. :) Yay. I hate lazy days though. I always feel so worthless when I have them. I don't enjoy them so much as I prescribe them to myself, like a doctor prescribes medication. We take it because we know we have to to feel better.
K came home and we went to dinner...then a friend of his, who thinks his wife might be having an affair, sent him a text and asked K to have a beer with him, so here I am alone...again. Oh well. It's all good. It's not like he does this well, ever, really.
I did go to BrB today to return a gift (we got two of them) and I got a breast pump, nursing pads and two cute pairs of pants for the baby, one of which she'll wear home from the hospital. I still have over 25.00 on the card to spend. I'm so happy to have those things out of the way. Not sure what to get with the remainder. Maybe an outfit.
I'm kind of getting tired of being pregnant. Everything I read, everything I hear, everything I write about pertains to the baby and while I love my baby and I'm thankful for my baby...I wish I could get myself back at least a little bit! Everyone wants to talk about the baby; some people have even stopped calling me by my name and now just say, "hey, Mama!" :-( I'm still me! I just happen to be a mother too. I know this is temporary and it's part of their excitement about the baby and one day I'll be referred to as Sunny again.
On a side note...I'm watching Sex in the City. It's the episode about tantric sex and I'm thinking....I'd really like to try that. I've wanted to try it since I heard Sting talk about it on a talk show. I just don't know if K would be patient enough.
Ugh....this brings me to the topic of sex after baby. Oh gosh...I dread the first few weeks of feeling like sex is the last thing in the world I'd ever consider doing, even if my life depended on it. I know I won't want to do it and that's totally fine. I've already talked to K about it and he's cool. What I'm dreading is that FEELING. You know? It's one thing to not want to have sex...it's a very different thing when even thinking about sex makes one shudder. Ugh. I dread that feeling. I'm also dreading the first time after the baby is born. It's never enjoyable. It hurts and it's like a necessary evil; very much like the first bowel movement after the baby is born. You just gotta do it, get over it, and then you can more on to easier days.
And to think this is coming from a woman who loves sex! I can't imagine what women who aren't that into sex think after the birth of a baby. I wonder how long they go without finally giving in to their husband's coaxing? I've heard some don't have sex for like months! Wow. I just couldn't do that and I feel for the husbands who deal with that. Intimacy is so very important....and sex, while not THE most important aspect, is an important aspect of an intimate bond.
How do I feel these days?
1. Not as uh, for lack of a better word, ah-em, horny, as a few weeks ago, but still have the feeling.
2. Achy...all my joints seem to be screaming or moaning at me all the time (especially in my hips and back, for the last few days)
3. Having BH contractions consistently. They are annoying at their kindest; painful at their worst.
4. Hungry...all the time today.
5. like my BFF is the toilet.
6. Tired...sleepy and tired of being "fat." Tired of being pregnant. Tired of being tired.
7. like I have great skin these days...probably the gallon of water I'm drinking each day.
8. lonely. For sure. Yes.
9. Restless, I can't seem to relax these days and I want to clean everything in sight. I'm trying to resist the urge to rip up the carpet in the living and dining rooms. the main reason I'm resisting the urge is because I don't want to sand the hardwood floors.
10. like a duck...complete with the waddle and nesting instinct. I'm ready to feel like a woman again. ;-)
11. Excited! To see, kiss and smell my little daughter. Ultimately, this feeling trumps 1-10 for sure.
Anyway, despite feeling like total crappola today, I'm still going to eat right and not just go to bed...although a nap may be in order.
So this morning, I started with a banana and water.
Now having Rice Chex with raspberries, blueberries, and local honey. Orange juice and coffee.
So I'm going to try to resist the urge to clean more. Instead, I'm going to try to allow myself to rest. I think I really need to relax.
Oh...side note. My doctor never called me back about the tests.
Lunch: leftovers from last night's dinner: meatloaf, mashed potatoes, glazed baby carrots, peas, water.
Dinner: veggie burrito from Chipotle: black beans, white rice, corn salsa, tomato salsa, guacamole, lettuce. Bottle of apple juice.
Snack: trail mix bar; water; multigrain sandwich thins with cream cheese; 6 strawberries; V8 Splash.
Later 9:45pm:
So I spent my day being rather lazy, as planned. I did a load of laundry, washed dishes, cleaned the bathroom and did some prenatal yoga...was soooo happy to find that on OD. :) Yay. I hate lazy days though. I always feel so worthless when I have them. I don't enjoy them so much as I prescribe them to myself, like a doctor prescribes medication. We take it because we know we have to to feel better.
K came home and we went to dinner...then a friend of his, who thinks his wife might be having an affair, sent him a text and asked K to have a beer with him, so here I am alone...again. Oh well. It's all good. It's not like he does this well, ever, really.
I did go to BrB today to return a gift (we got two of them) and I got a breast pump, nursing pads and two cute pairs of pants for the baby, one of which she'll wear home from the hospital. I still have over 25.00 on the card to spend. I'm so happy to have those things out of the way. Not sure what to get with the remainder. Maybe an outfit.
I'm kind of getting tired of being pregnant. Everything I read, everything I hear, everything I write about pertains to the baby and while I love my baby and I'm thankful for my baby...I wish I could get myself back at least a little bit! Everyone wants to talk about the baby; some people have even stopped calling me by my name and now just say, "hey, Mama!" :-( I'm still me! I just happen to be a mother too. I know this is temporary and it's part of their excitement about the baby and one day I'll be referred to as Sunny again.
On a side note...I'm watching Sex in the City. It's the episode about tantric sex and I'm thinking....I'd really like to try that. I've wanted to try it since I heard Sting talk about it on a talk show. I just don't know if K would be patient enough.
Ugh....this brings me to the topic of sex after baby. Oh gosh...I dread the first few weeks of feeling like sex is the last thing in the world I'd ever consider doing, even if my life depended on it. I know I won't want to do it and that's totally fine. I've already talked to K about it and he's cool. What I'm dreading is that FEELING. You know? It's one thing to not want to have sex...it's a very different thing when even thinking about sex makes one shudder. Ugh. I dread that feeling. I'm also dreading the first time after the baby is born. It's never enjoyable. It hurts and it's like a necessary evil; very much like the first bowel movement after the baby is born. You just gotta do it, get over it, and then you can more on to easier days.
And to think this is coming from a woman who loves sex! I can't imagine what women who aren't that into sex think after the birth of a baby. I wonder how long they go without finally giving in to their husband's coaxing? I've heard some don't have sex for like months! Wow. I just couldn't do that and I feel for the husbands who deal with that. Intimacy is so very important....and sex, while not THE most important aspect, is an important aspect of an intimate bond.
How do I feel these days?
1. Not as uh, for lack of a better word, ah-em, horny, as a few weeks ago, but still have the feeling.
2. Achy...all my joints seem to be screaming or moaning at me all the time (especially in my hips and back, for the last few days)
3. Having BH contractions consistently. They are annoying at their kindest; painful at their worst.
4. Hungry...all the time today.
5. like my BFF is the toilet.
6. Tired...sleepy and tired of being "fat." Tired of being pregnant. Tired of being tired.
7. like I have great skin these days...probably the gallon of water I'm drinking each day.
8. lonely. For sure. Yes.
9. Restless, I can't seem to relax these days and I want to clean everything in sight. I'm trying to resist the urge to rip up the carpet in the living and dining rooms. the main reason I'm resisting the urge is because I don't want to sand the hardwood floors.
10. like a duck...complete with the waddle and nesting instinct. I'm ready to feel like a woman again. ;-)
11. Excited! To see, kiss and smell my little daughter. Ultimately, this feeling trumps 1-10 for sure.
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