Blue

K had to go into work early today to do the drawing for a full sleeve he's going to start on today. It's a cool Japanese piece. I can't wait to see pictures. He's extremely good at doing Japanese tattoos. I'd love to have one one day.

Because it's going to be about 105 today, I'm just going to sit around the house. I just can't handle being out in this intense heat. Even with 64 ounces of water, I feel dehydrated. I just can't keep up and I get faint so easily. Next week will be better, thank goodness. The highs will be in the low 90s. I can deal with that.

I'm a little bummed this morning. K is going on the Memorial Ride next Saturday and I just can't go. He wants me to go, but I just can't ride on the passenger seat at this point in my pregnancy. It hurts so bad I want to cry....and actually DID cry on our last decent ride. I'm just not able to do any of the things I really enjoy doing right now. I can't ride the bike. I can't work in the garden. I can't even hang at the pool with friends because J gets so drunk and stays in the pool and starts ordering people around and I'm not drunk, so I just can't deal with it. Also, I'm pregnant and they start playing football in the pool...and last time a group of them bumped me into the side of the pool while they were fighting for the ball. Ugh.

So I'm here in the house, going freaking nuts. I could quilt, but I want to have some fun. I've not gotten to have fun in a while. :-( I'm pregnant, but I'm not dead or broken and I do want to do something besides sit in the damned house all the time. It bums me out. I know I shouldn't be...I have this precious live inside me, growing every day, listening to my voice, and she's a beautiful little gift. I shouldn't be thinking this way, because it's selfish, but I can't help it. I'm sad about what I can't do these days. Isn't it better to just admit how I feel than to push it off and deny how I'm feeling?

I hope the whole third trimester isn't like this.

Maybe I'll work out today and then work on the game room downstairs. At least it's something to do. I don't really feel like working either, but it's something. It won't be fun, but it'll be gratifying when I'm finished.