Eating for two.

The appetite during pregnancy is a roller coaster to he sure. The first trimester I had trouble eating because I felt nauseated all the time. I did manage to make myself eat though. I mostly craved cheeses...it was crazy.

The second trimester I had a voracious appetite! I ate everything and wanted more. The last couple of weeks of that trimester, I craved candy...specifically sour and tart candy like Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. I didn't refuse my cravings. I succumbed to every one.

This trimester, my appetite seems to have leveled off a bit. The sugar cravings have subsided and I find eating regular meals satisfies me. I'm sort of thankful for this. My eating and weight was starting to get to me.

I have never restricted my eating, nor will I ever, even while breastfeeding. I will always put my baby's needs before my own. However, having had an eating disorder for so long, the thoughts pop into my head. Thankfully I've been in recovery long enough to know how to shut the thoughts out. I also feel so healthy right now that it is easy to push nonsensical thoughts aside in favor of those that make me feel good.

So anyway, for anyone out there who is fretting about eating and weight gain....remember, you're not number one right now, even though you may be to your spouse (and that's great!). That little, wiggling, kicking, prodding bundle inside your belly IS number one and deserves to be treated as such.

There will be plenty of time to resume the self criticism most women are notorious for. I think though that I'm going to strive to see the good. Try to appreciate my soft belly after Kathryn is born...I know it'll be there. I'll try to enjoy the fact that because my beautiful little girl grew there, I'm not able to immediately fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes and that's a very good thing! Time will take care of that.

The time after a baby's birth is precious. It should be soft, loving, calm and peaceful. It should not be a time of self-indulgent worry. I'm going to strive to appreciate it...

even while sleep deprived and feeling like a milk machine. ;-)