I'm on a sweets eating rampage these days and it doesn't help that during the holiday season, sweets descend upon my household like the locusts descended upon the prairie in the 1930s.
I cannot escape them and what's worse, I WANT them.
All.
The.
Time.
I crave (and more importantly, EAT) any sweet thing I can wrap my hand around. Cookies, my sister's famous buckeye candy, K's mom's delectable fudge, donuts, etc.
Funny thing? I don't even really like chocolate.
I swear.
I don't, but my breastfeeding self seems to breathe by it. It's as if without chocolate, I'd fall over dead.
What the hell?
I've read that lactating mamas crave carbs and I'm assuming it is because it is a quick energy boost when reserves are low and let's face it, when your body has to produce 7 ounces of milk every couple of hours, reserves are bound to be low more often than not.
The thing is, I want QUALITY milk, not just an ample quantity.
So lying in bed, I told K I'm hungry. He replied, "well, I could go grab some donuts."
"Yes," I happily replied, followed immediately with a guilt-inspired, "no."
Which was immediately followed with another "yes."
I'm conflicted.
That said, I also think, why not just go with it. It isn't like I eat this way all the time. It's the holiday season! I can eat healthy later.
The thing is, I need to ear healthy now, for my baby and for me. I feel weighed down these days and I know it is because of my choices. I have a headache more often due to all the sweets and my face is breaking out as well.
You see, sweets allow the skin to produce more sebum, which can clog pores, cause and over-production of oils, and thus cause breakouts.
Yay, microbiology class wasn't wasted.
Yesterday I did snack on a plate of raw veggies while watching the UK vs. UofL game. That's good, right?
The thing is, I've never allowed myself to give in to or enjoy sweets. I have had an eating disorder or disordered eating since I was 15 years old. So, taking this into consideration makes me want to allow myself this time to indulge a bit...or a bite...lol.
The big question is, is it okay for my baby? Does she get too much sugar this way? Am I wiring her to crave sweets?
I hope not.
I need to make a shift in my eating. I need to at least eat very healthy 50% of the time! Then I can move it back to my comfortable 80/20 percentage. With the 80% being good, very healthy food choices.
I need to ditch fast food completely. I'm such a hypocrite going through the drive-thru to pick up my antibiotic-laden burger from poor corn-fed cows that live on muddy factory farms, and my giant plastic cup of high-fructose corn syrup and water.
I know it is bad! I've spoken out about it. Hell, I've signed petitions....
I SAID I'M A HYPOCRITE.
I'm owning it and I know I need to change. For me. For my baby.
It's hard when there is some sort if disconnect between what your body seems to want and what your mind knows you need.
So today I am going to start this shift. I had a donuts. I'll likely have another, but I'm going to eat as healthy as possible the rest of the time.
I can't keep feeling bad about my belly when I'm shoving crap in my mouth. A bit self-defeating, if you ask me. I'm going to try. I'm going to be patient with myself...after all, this is a marathon I'm going to attempt, not a sprint.
I cannot escape them and what's worse, I WANT them.
All.
The.
Time.
I crave (and more importantly, EAT) any sweet thing I can wrap my hand around. Cookies, my sister's famous buckeye candy, K's mom's delectable fudge, donuts, etc.
Funny thing? I don't even really like chocolate.
I swear.
I don't, but my breastfeeding self seems to breathe by it. It's as if without chocolate, I'd fall over dead.
What the hell?
I've read that lactating mamas crave carbs and I'm assuming it is because it is a quick energy boost when reserves are low and let's face it, when your body has to produce 7 ounces of milk every couple of hours, reserves are bound to be low more often than not.
The thing is, I want QUALITY milk, not just an ample quantity.
So lying in bed, I told K I'm hungry. He replied, "well, I could go grab some donuts."
"Yes," I happily replied, followed immediately with a guilt-inspired, "no."
Which was immediately followed with another "yes."
I'm conflicted.
That said, I also think, why not just go with it. It isn't like I eat this way all the time. It's the holiday season! I can eat healthy later.
The thing is, I need to ear healthy now, for my baby and for me. I feel weighed down these days and I know it is because of my choices. I have a headache more often due to all the sweets and my face is breaking out as well.
You see, sweets allow the skin to produce more sebum, which can clog pores, cause and over-production of oils, and thus cause breakouts.
Yay, microbiology class wasn't wasted.
Yesterday I did snack on a plate of raw veggies while watching the UK vs. UofL game. That's good, right?
The thing is, I've never allowed myself to give in to or enjoy sweets. I have had an eating disorder or disordered eating since I was 15 years old. So, taking this into consideration makes me want to allow myself this time to indulge a bit...or a bite...lol.
The big question is, is it okay for my baby? Does she get too much sugar this way? Am I wiring her to crave sweets?
I hope not.
I need to make a shift in my eating. I need to at least eat very healthy 50% of the time! Then I can move it back to my comfortable 80/20 percentage. With the 80% being good, very healthy food choices.
I need to ditch fast food completely. I'm such a hypocrite going through the drive-thru to pick up my antibiotic-laden burger from poor corn-fed cows that live on muddy factory farms, and my giant plastic cup of high-fructose corn syrup and water.
I know it is bad! I've spoken out about it. Hell, I've signed petitions....
I SAID I'M A HYPOCRITE.
I'm owning it and I know I need to change. For me. For my baby.
It's hard when there is some sort if disconnect between what your body seems to want and what your mind knows you need.
So today I am going to start this shift. I had a donuts. I'll likely have another, but I'm going to eat as healthy as possible the rest of the time.
I can't keep feeling bad about my belly when I'm shoving crap in my mouth. A bit self-defeating, if you ask me. I'm going to try. I'm going to be patient with myself...after all, this is a marathon I'm going to attempt, not a sprint.
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