A Great Day

So it's 3:30 pm and the thought I have today is: wow, this day has flown by.

:)

I've not thought that since Kathryn was born. It's been a really good day after a really good night of sleep. She slept from 11pm to 5:30, then again until 8:00. Not bad at all! :) Yesterday we did some tummy time, talked (well, I did all the talking...she stared, cooed and smiled), and spent time playing with toys. I gave her a bath around 7:30 pm. I think all of that helped her sleep better.

I've noticed she is also far less fussy in the evenings than she used to be. I'm so thankful for this. I'm also thankful for the decrease in cluster feedings. She still eats pretty often before bed, but nothing like she used to.

Today we took a quick trip to Wal-Mart for fish and gerbil food without much of an issue with the car seat. She got fussy in the store, but I took her out and she fell asleep...she slept all the way home.

It seems the car seat dilemma is working itself out. Thankfully.

I had a big lunch, fed the gerbils and fish, cleaned up the gerbil mess....geez, how can such small animals be so damned messy? Wow. There were aspen chips (and tiny turds....gross!) on the floor around their cage. Ugh. C has to clean it out when he gets back. I'm not doing it. Well, I will if I forget to remind him. I can't let the little fellows live in there if it's nasty.

K is asleep in her seat right now, while I enjoy a pretzel with Nutella. Not sure I'm a Nutella fan, but I did easily manage to eat about 4 pretzels with the nutty chocolate spread, so I guess I'm not against it either.

I should probably be more against it.

My midsection needs me to be more against it. haha! However, I'm not going to concern myself too much with thoughts like that. I know from experience how insidious they can be and I haven't time for that. I'm healthy and today is the first day I can say that I actually feel like my old self since having the baby! Yay.

It's been a long road...at least it seems like a long road considering how impatient I am. I tend to have a lot of patience with others, but very little with myself. I'm trying to work on that, as I want to be a good example for my little girl. I want her to learn self-love, not self-hate. I'm really good at the self-hate part. One thing I can say though is since I met K, my self-hatred and self-destructive thoughts/actions (ie. eating disorder, heavy drinking, etc) have lessened to the point that I'd almost say they no longer haunt me. Stopping drinking was a very, VERY good thing and it probably helped with everything else. Plus, K makes me feel really good about myself. He's so loving and kind. Every day he says I'm beautiful and he doesn't just say it to say something. I think he actually means it. It's pretty cool.

Ugh...my stomach hurts from too much Nutella. :(

It's so gloomy outside today. It looks like a day that would bring snow, but it's not cold enough to. However, it is cold out. It's in the 50s. Brrr.

I'm ready to wear my jeans again on a full-time basis. I wore them a bit too soon and irritated my tear, which slowed the healing. Here I am, 4 weeks out and still tender. A few days ago I was downright SORE. I had to restart sitz baths. I added salt water and that helped immensely. Today I hardly notice anything at all down there.

Nice to be able to actually think sex might be possible in the near future. A week ago, I was wondering if my body would ever be ready for that again. Hell, a couple days ago I was wondering that and I think I even mentioned it to K..."Uh, I don't know if I'll ever be able to have sex again."

LOL

I told K that I think we need to have a fun outing with the baby soon. I'm ready and I think she is too. She'll do just fine, because all we'll need is a diaper or two and well, my boobs are always around. ha! Her feeding times are spaced a little better, so I think it could go off without a hitch. If it doesn't well, the roads we'll take are two ways...we can always come back home. I just really need to get out. I need to have a little fun, even if it's not a super exciting time, any time spent out with K is fun and I need that.

We are thinking about going out for a nice dinner within the next couple of weeks...maybe when Kathryn is about 6 weeks old or so. Maybe 8 weeks. We'll probably ask L to babysit for us. I just don't want any smoke around K. I'm sure she won't smoke around her, so really there is not need to worry. I will worry though, but not about that. Ugh...I can't imagine leaving my baby girl, even for a couple of hours. I'll probably have to have L text me updates often so I can relax while out. This is crazy. I never left my boys until they were about 6 months old. I can't believe I'm thinking about leaving her at 6 weeks. Yikes. Then again, with my boys, I didn't have a relationship to nurture, so it didn't matter if I went out with my SO or not.

I should probably be napping with K right now, but sitting here, watching a movie seems just as relaxing. She's beginning to wiggle around and is sure to wake soon.