Back to work, babywearing, breastfeeding

I'm knee-deep in paperwork for going back to work. It's crazy what is required to teach. While I understand it, because we work with children, it's still nuts to me.

Teachers have rather low pay considering the degrees required and compared to other jobs that require similar schooling. We also have to pay out-of-pocket for our education, with no assistance, like you'd normally see for a job that requires continued education.

It just is what it is, I guess.

Anyway, I feel good about the idea of returning to work. I feel sort of uneasy about the idea of leaving my daughter. We are very seldom apart. When we are, she does fantastic...I have no need to worry. I'll just have to research daycares and go with my gut.

I feel sort of guilty because I'm really looking forward to having things to do/talk about that don't pertain to my daughter. I feel sooo bad, because when I look at her I think, "Gosh, she is so precious. How can I want to he away from her?" It really bothers me.

I also wish I had a cool job; one that allowed me to express my creativity. That said, if that were truly important, wouldnt I have gone that route?

Then again, I was looking for a job 6hat would pay the bills and be good for my boys.

I'm continuing with teaching more by default...(I may have said this in a previous post. I mean, I'm good at it. It comes very easily to me). The benefits are good. The hours are great. I get to be around young people and I do enjoy that.

I just hope I enjoy it. I hope it doesn't become a regret. I don't think it will...I think it'll be good for all of us. Besides, arent most people at least slightly disappointed with their career/job choice?

I need to work for a few reasons:

1. For my psyche. I like to have a lot of things on my plate and I think I thrive in such a situation.
2. To help out with bills.
3. To help save for our big relocation to Florida.

It's tough being a mom and making such decisions. It's hard to be a SAHM and it's hard to be a WOHM. Both are a balancing act.

I'm also going back to school and this is, to me, trickier than returning to work. I'm going to take online classes, which means working from home with the baby. My baby is very high-maintenance. She loves attention. She loves to be held a lot. I think it's going to be difficult to get work done while she is awake and if you've read this blog for a decent length of time, you know she isn't a napper and if she DOES nap, it's usually when I'm holding her. Sooooooo....how I'm going to pull this off and maintain my good GPA, I'm not sure. I guess I'll just do it. There is no other option.

I know I've sort of lost my focus on this blog. I used to post references and such of a helpful nature and lately it's all been a bunch of personal talk...but perhaps that personal talk has been helpful at times? I hope so. I sometimes feel most supported when I read about another mom going through similar situations as me.

I hope it hasn't just been a bunch of pointless rants.

I'm still a BIG supporter of breastfeeding and babywearing. I still breastfeed Ryn and I wear her as well. I will be wearing her today when I tackle the backyard. I have more mature shrubs to remove. Luckily my strapping boy is here and he has offered to help me.

We are still cloth diapering, although on a part-time basis.

We are still vegetarian and loving it. I just got my new issue of Vegetarian Times and I can't wait to try the Thanksgiving recipes!

Links that may be of interest:

Breastfeeding:
http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/

***I gave a Macy's gift card to a lady in the shoe department because she was breastfeeding her baby in public. You go, mama!***

International Babywearing Week:
http://babywearinginternational.org/pages/babywearingweek.php

***While at the mall, I was happy to see so many mamas wearing their babies. A yuppy trend, it may be, but I'm really happy for the babies I've seen held closely to their mamas. This is a trend I really hope sticks in our country.***

Now for the Miley Cyrus crap....I hope that trend goes, and goes quickly.