Love & marriage

My neighbors are newly engaged and her fiance is moving in on June 1. They are adorable in their infantile relationship. They really are. He took off all week to work on her....er, THEIR- garage, and on Thursday, I had a feeling I'd see her on Friday afternoon, helping him. That's what I'd have done.

On Friday morning, as I sipped my lukewarm coffee (since baby, it is rare that I have a hot cup) and happened to see him running a circular saw across a two-by-four, while she used a hammer to pull nails from an old, overhead board that needed replacing. They were so cute that I had to smile.

New relationships are wonderful in that the little things are so cherished and so invigorating.

I think the danger is when we assume that this will always be the case. The first kiss feeling will dissipate, sex will become more predictable than surprising, and sitting on the couch and dinners at home will outweigh candlelit dinners in restaurants and drinks in the local pub.

So, I've come to a sort of conclusion that all marriages are basically the same. A couple falls into a "rut," so to speak, unless they work hard to keep things interesting & surprising.

I think the trick is to consider this:

On your worst day, do you picture that person at your side?
On his worst day, can you still honestly say you love him?

The trick is to find the person who allows you to answer yes. Find the person you're compatible with, on the worse of days.

I'm not talking about passionate, argumentative days. I'm talking about the blatantly, no-other-word-for-it, down right, freaking BORING days.

The days when the person who used to blow your mind in the bedroom, now sometimes causes you to zone out during conversation. THOSE days.

THOSE are the worst of days. If you still love that person on those days, then you're golden.

So, in most cases, I'd suggest you get to know each other before tying the knot. Really get to know them.

When you find yourself in a moment of boredom, evaluate it and THEN decide if you want to truly commit to that person.

Of course I didn't do this.
Most people don't do this.

Most people stupidly expect the happy-go-lucky, love you forever, sex all night relationship will continue forever. They find themselves unhappy when they realize this to be false.

I got lucky.
K is awesome.
Yea, his chewing gets on my nerves and I really wish he'd say excuse me after, or at least stifle his burps...

But I love him.
I don't ever want to be in the middle of the worst day ever and not have him next to me.

I've not laughed aloud in a while, except with Kathryn. K and I need to reconnect for sure. We need to work on surprising each other like we used to.

We need to have more sex.
We need a date night. We've not had a date since my birthday, Feb 27.

The thing is, I am happy in spite of it all.