Beginning to See - a poem

Beginning to See

It took a while, she said.
To lift the veil that I might see
That I might feel that which was always there
Lurking, creeping, sliding beneath the surface;
Something I never believed existed.
In my mind, it was dark, deformed,
like a fairy tale villain: a beautiful evil.
Until today, she said.
Today I realize that nothing is as it seems at first
from a distance, looking in
Those who smile biggest hide the deepest pain.
Too weak to grab it and crush it in their fists.
And love, which once I believed so dark,
doesn't always bring the rain.
Sometimes it lifts the darkened clouds
so the sun may shine again
But it took a while, she said,
for me to see this and while the clouds are gone,
revealing a sapphire sky,
I carry a lavender umbrella and a slight smile
For I know I've still a long way to go...