Finding Motivation & Myself without Sacrificing My Family

Marriage, I've learned my second time around, is a wonderful thing. I used to hate it. Never wanted to do it again, but I'm glad I did. My husband is one of the cutest, kindest, funniest, and most loving people I know. I'm lucky to have him in my life. 

What's hard about marriage is refraining from falling into the ruts of routine. It is so easy to end every day on the couch in front of the same show or a movie, or whatever. Of course with a toddler who is in bed by eight, it is even harder to avoid routines like this. The problem is these routines can fast become ruts and that can lead to all manner of issues. Being that I love my husband and love being married to him, avoiding such ruts are a priority.

So last night I was supposed to meet up with a friend at Final Friday in Over-the-Rhine. I asked her if I could invite K because he had never been to a gallery hop. She happily obliged. I took the toddler too. This is a big no-no with girl time, but I really thought Kevin would enjoy it and I wanted him to go and we're all friends. It was good...he had fun. He got to see people he's not seen for a while...I wish he would do that more often, but I digress. The point is, we weren't just sitting on the couch. 

One thing I'm disliking is how sedentary my life is. K's is more so and his stress levels are mark of that. I keep telling him to just do 30 minutes of exercise a day to help, but he just talks about what he did 10 years ago and doesn't do anything. I had visible six-pack abs and a very toned body 10 years ago...I don't now...today should be the focus. Everyone has to find their motivation on their own...and we have to continue with our goals, even if our spouse doesn't join in. I WANT to be active. I WANT to get outdoors for hiking, jogging, walking, etc. So I have to do this on my own. 

I also can't expect K to jump of the bandwagon just because I am. That's his decision. I do worry though. He needs to get healthy and I don't want to face life without him. I love him. 

Anyway...

Today I've worked on watching portions. Not obsessively. Food intake isn't my problem, but I'm no longer breast feeding, so I need to get my intake back down to normal. I also worked out here at home and took a beautiful and vigorous walk with Little K and the dog. It was awesome. I've not been that sweaty and thirsty in a while. It's felt great. 

I also ordered PiYo DVD set from my friend who uses it and loves it. It'll be helpful this winter and just to change things up. 

The challenge for me and perhaps a lot of moms is finding time to work all of this working out in. I'm not going to get obsessive. I have no desire to be like I used to be. I wasn't nice to myself. I have no desire to compete with teenagers and 20-somethings. I simply want to be a toned almost 40-year old. It won't take much. I'm not overweight and could actually stand to gain a pound or two, but I want muscle. I want to feel and look strong. Not beefy. Just strong. 

So I'm challenging myself. The weather is still nice. It was 80 today. So I'm challenging myself to 28 days of exercise. This doesn't have to be a major workout like today, but at least a good walk. Something. 

I've been feeling kind of lost lately, with trying to figure out what I want to do with my life besides being a mother and wife...which I LOVE, by the way, so the other thing will have to be pretty freaking special for me to give up time with my family. I think I have it figured out and I'm looking forward to it, but also very nervous. I hope I can pull it off. It'll require more help from K with Kathryn, that's for sure. 

If I want it bad enough, I'll pull it off. I néed to remember this and trust myself. I feel like I put too much stock in what others think and I don't know why. I've never been like this before. It's weird. Maybe I'm just a bit lonely. Or maybe I'm spending time with some of the wrong people. I'm not sure. I have a couple of good friends, so that's all that matters. All you really need is one. I definitely have one...when I'm around her I feel completely at ease. It's nice. 

Kat woke up at 2:30 this morning...as you can see in the picture, she wasn't feeling so gret. we napped a couple of hours, thank goodness. I'm going to get her to bed soon. It's been a long, but really rad day.